As we all know, COMCAST’s abysmal customer service has been their trademark for as far back as we can remember. Because of their virtual monopoly in most markets, they have arrogantly thumbed their nose at their customers with a tacit dare to try and ween themselves off of the ‘Cable Crack’ they deal out. But as with all things, change has forced Comcast to change. Change in the economy, change in the competition, and change in technology are just a few of the factors that are causing Comcast to change…THEIR TACTICS.
- The Real Comcast Guarantee
Here is the new Comcast Customer Guarantee which on the surface makes it look like they are going to actually improve their customer service, but before we get ahead of ourselves let’s take a look at what is really going on.
MEDIA BLITZ
The current ad campaign by Comcast promoting their so-called Customer Guarantee is the first time that Comcast has acknowledged to their customers and prospects that they have a problem with customer service and that they intend to address it. But with the untold millions of dollars being pumped into these ads, is the focus really on customer service or merely an attitude within Comcast management which says ‘there are no problems, just opportunities’? If their history is any indication of what to expect, then you will see 10% of their improvement budget going into actual improvements, and the other 90% going into marketing the so-called improvements. So where is the beef?
What is a Guarantee?
Here is a quick list of attributes of a guarantee from the good folks at DifferenceBetween.com :
1. A guarantee is always free.
2. The guarantee is a commitment to make good defects of a product or a service in a fixed period.
3. A guarantee is a legal contract without any payment.
4. A guarantee is an addition to the legal consumer rights.
So as we can see from the definition, a guarantee is a legal contract to make things right within a fixed period of time. What Comcast is calling a Customer Guarantee is actually a Service Guarantee since they are providing a service, not a physical product. A Service Guarantee is defined In Wikipedia as “a marketing tool service firms have increasingly been using to reduce consumer risk perceptions, signal quality, differentiate a service offering, and to institutionalize and professionalize their internal management of customer complaint and service recovery.” The key phrase is MARKETING TOOL.
What Exactly does Comcast Guarantee?
Here are the Comcast guarantees from their website as of 4/8/11. We’ll see how it evolves over time.
We will give you a 30-day, money-back guarantee on all our services.
If you’re not satisfied and wish to cancel service for any reason, you can do so in the first 30 days and get your money back. Simply return all equipment in good working order and we’ll refund the monthly recurring fee for your first 30 days of service and any charges you paid for standard installation.
This is the only guarantee with any meat behind it. You will get back the money you spent for MONTHLY RECURRING FEES and STANDARD INSTALLATION if you cancel within 30-days. Questions you should be asking yourself are:
- What other money have I paid that I will not be getting back? Taxes? One-Time Charges? Regulatory Fees?
- When does the clock start ticking for the 30-day period?
- What kind of stalling tactics will Comcast use to delay the equipment returns that will cause you to go over the 30-day period?
We will treat you and your home with courtesy and respect.
Our technicians will display their Comcast identification clearly when they arrive at your home. They will be trained and equipped to complete the job on the first visit. Our Customer Account Executives will be courteous and knowledgeable when you contact us.
This is marketing fluff. Courtesy and respect are terms that are intangible, relative, and subject to interpretation. No beef at all. As we’ve seen from the Houston Comcast Rapist post, Comcast uses contractors that are not on their payroll as technicians that enter your home, so even if their ID badge says Comcast, that is no guarantee that Comcast has had any direct involvement in technical assessments of background checks of these individuals. Now, their Customer Account Executives (otherwise known as Minimum Wage Call Center Operators) may actually be Comcast employees and they may actually be knowledgeable about where to go to get your nails done or, get a tattoo on your lower back or, learn English as a 2nd language.
We will answer your questions at your convenience.
You can contact us 24 hours a day, 7 days a week regarding any service-related issue by calling 1-800-COMCAST or in any of the following ways:
- Online, via Ask Comcast
- Live Chat online with a Comcast Technician
- Online community forum
- Send us an e-mail and receive a response within 24 hours
They guarantee to give you not one, but FOUR different ways to contact them around the clock and be placed on hold only to have your calls dropped numerous times and then finally get someone that will be happy to politely tell you to reboot your router and it that doesn’t work they’ll schedule someone to come out, but only if you agree to pay a service fee if they determine that the fault is not theirs.
We will offer easy-to-understand packages and provide you with a clear bill.
Our packages are designed to be straightforward. A call or visit to our website makes it easy to find a package that’s right for you. We aim for the same clarity with our bills. You may view your monthly statement and service details anytime by visiting www.comcast.com.
More marketing fluff. Easy-to-understand? Clear? Maybe what they are trying to say is that if you have 20/20 vision you should be able to read these things without any problem. Now trying to decipher a Comcast bill is another issue entirely.
We will continually offer the best and most video choices.
We’re working hard to bring more choices to our customers instantaneously by using the full power of our advanced network and decades of television experience. We will use On Demand to bring customers dramatically more content choices, including more movies, more sports, more kids programs, more network TV shows and more HD than anyone else.
Look for this one to change folks. I can’t imagine that Comcast’s competitors will allow them to get away with verbiage like ‘BEST’ and ‘MOST’ for too long, especially when it is found to be not true.
We will quickly address any problem you experience.
After the first visit to your home, if we do not satisfactorily complete installation or can’t resolve a routine issue, we will extend a complimentary service to your account. Additionally, we won’t charge you for a service visit that results from a Comcast equipment or network problem.
After the complementary service, if things still don’t work then SCREW YOU, your 30-days are probably over by now…and so is the complementary service (-;
We will schedule appointments at your convenience and be mindful of your time.
As a courtesy, we will call you before we arrive at your home. And if we fail to arrive for a scheduled visit during the appointment window, we will credit $20 to your account.*
*Subject to any local restrictions or requirements.
In other words, if the technician doesn’t show up in the FOUR HOUR service window you’ve been given between let’s say 1pm and 5pm (which incidentally required you to take off 1/2 day of work to be at home to let them in), then they will credit your account with $20 (which values your time at less that $5/hr factoring in your commute time). ***but only if local restrictions allow them to because there’s no telling what kind of under-the-table deals have been made with the local politicians. But don’t worry about Comcast losing any money because I’m sure that if they have to credit your account by $20, then they will fine their contractors that did not show up by $50, thus making money again off of the pain and misery of their customers.